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EPISODE J-306 I HATE A MYSTERY - by Hal Dresner Soon after Hawkeye has deposited his latest poker winnings in his footlocker, a rash of thefts is discovered at the 4077th. Col. Blake, Trapper, Hot Lips and Major Burns all have valuable articles stolen. Frustrated by attempts to catch the thief, Col. Blake orders a tent-by-tent search. All the missing articles turn up in Hawkeye's footlocker. Hot Lips and Major Burns want Hawkeye court martialled. Radar and Trapper keep him under constant surveillance while Father Mulcahy lectures him on "human failings." When a lawyer arrives to defend Hawkeye at his court martial, he decides to do some sleuthing for himself. Hawkeye gets Blake to announce over the camp public address that finger printing equipment has been flown in. Later that night, Hawkeye finds the foot locker holding the evidence in Blake's office has been looted. He assembles all those involved in the Mess Tent and gives them the Perry Mason treatment Hawkeye tells them the articles were coated with a chemical that is right now turning the culprit's fingernails blue. When Ho-Jon hears this, he hides his hands under the table, called out by the bluff. He confesses that he took the articles to bring his mother and sister down from their village in the north. With everything he has saved from his salary and everything he has stolen, he can now afford to bring his uncle, baby brother and sister. CAST Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda Trapper John Wayne Rogers Henry Blake McLean Stevenson Hot Lips Loretta Swit Frank Burns Larry Linville Radar Gary Burghoff GUEST CAST Father Mulcahy William Christopher Spearchucker Timothy Brown Ho-Jon Patrick Adiarte Leslie Scorch Linda Meiklejohn Ginger Odessa Cleveland Lt. Bannerman Bonnie Jones
Producer Gene Reynolds Executive Story Consultant Larry Gelbart Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe Director Hy Averback
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