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Edwina, a new nurse, admits after her birthday party that no one has ever cared for her. She joined the Army in the hope of saving the life of a man who would be so grateful that he'd fall in love with her. Hearing her stories, Nurse Cutler gives Hawkeye an ultimatum: none of the nurses are going to have anything to do with doctors until one of them comes to see what a wonderful girl Edwina really is. Hawkeye can't make her change her mind. Finally he assembles everyone in the Swamp to draw for straws. Hawkeye gets the short straw and proceeds to romance Edwina. He touches her hand and the music swells, but she steps on his ankle and almost breaks it. A great night of seduction is arranged with soft lights, romantic music and martinis set up in the Swamp. But Edwina is a super klutz. She hits Hawkeye in the head with the tent flap, spills martinis on him, backs him into a hot stove when they dance, then breaks all of the martini glasses in her despair over what she's done. In the end, all that Hawkeye has said registers and she realizes she can be herself with a man. She does not have to beat him up to win his love. The next day as Hawkeye and Nurse Cutler see Edwina off to another camp, Hawkeye embraces Cutler telling her she's so smooth and graceful. She stomps on his foot to make him feel at home.

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

Trapper John Wayne Rogers

Henry Blake McLean Stevenson

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

Father Mulcahy William Christopher

Edwina Arlene Golonka

Leslie Linda Meiklejohn

Cutler Marcia Strassman

Producer Gene Reynolds

Executive Story Consultant Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director James Sheldon