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Colonel Buzz Maxwell has a slug removed from his thigh. It's a minor wound and he wants to return to the battlefield right away. Hawkeye and Trapper want him to rest, but Maxwell tells him he doesn't need it. In fact, as a graduate of West Point, he has to make use of every opportunity to advance his career. Hawkeye and Trapper are inspired to see if they can keep him around a little longer. Radar learns Maxwell has always been in great health, but that as a commander he's run up twice the casualties while gaining only half the ground compared to other commanders in the field. Frank wants to know why Maxwell hasn't been sent back and bugs Henry Blake. Before Henry and Frank can examine Maxwell, Hawkeye tells him that Henry is a drunk and Frank is gay. At the examination everything seems to indicate Hawkeye was telling the truth. When Hawkeye tells Frank that Hot Lips is getting ready for a date, Frank makes her swear that there's nothing between her and Maxwell. Hawkeye tells Maxwell that Hot Lips belongs to Henry, who at that moment is conned by Radar into making a shooting test. Blake arms himself as Hawkeye offers to help Maxwell. He resists. When Frank arrives, Maxwell tries to hide with Hot Lips, then hits Frank. Blake shows up armed and drunk. Amidst all the confusion, Blake signs a form sending Maxwell stateside for some well-needed rest.

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

Trapper John Wayne Rogers

Henry Blake McLean Stevenson

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

Father Mulcahy William Christopher

Buzz Leslie Nielson

Leslie Linda Meiklejohn

Producer Gene Reynolds

Executive Story Consultant Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director Jackie Cooper