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Frank Burns throws his back out dancing with Hot Lips in her tent. She dumps him outside the tent to conceal their romantic liaison. Frank is taken to the hospital and applies for a Purple Heart since he was injured within ten miles from the front. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye, arrives. A journalist, he plans to write a book about his wartime experiences called "You Never Hear the Bullet." The next day a trio of patients awaits Hawkeye. Two bandaged from head to toe get into a fight over salami; the other, a youth named Wendell, needs his appendix removed. Later, Wendell's moaning interrupts Hawkeye trying to make time with Nancy. Wendell doesn't want to be sent home, but back to the front. Hawkeye is suspicious of such zeal and gets Wendell to admit that he's underage. Hawkeye goes back to Nancy, but the salami fighters are at it again. He returns to Post Op to find Wendell gone. Hawkeye finds him outside where he learns a girl back home ditched the lad for a man with a war medal. He admits to being 15 and gets Hawkeye to agree not to turn him in, so he can go home a hero. Wounded come in from the front. One of them is Tommy Gillis. He has a torn aorta and is sinking fast only able to say, "Sometimes you hear the bullet." Hawkeye can do nothing but watch him die. Later as he talks to Henry, Hawkeye thinks of Wendell. At least he can save him. He reports Wendell so that he can be sent home. Frank, meanwhile, gets his Purple Heart. Hawkeye, however, takes it to give to Wendell.

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

Trapper John Wayne Rogers

Henry Blake McLean Stevenson

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

Father Mulcahy William Christopher

Tommy Gillis James Callahan

Wendell Ron Howard

Lt. Nancy Griffin Lynnette Mettey

Producer Gene Reynolds

Executive Story Consultant Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director William Wiard