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Hawkeye, who has been operating for twenty-four hours straight, insists on attending to a new load of wounded despite the objections of Radar and Trapper. After finishing the latest bunch of casualties he flops into bed, but awakens to report to Trapper that he has evidence of a war in Korea. All of the surgery seems to have gotten to Hawkeye as he finds Radar and dictates a telegram to President Truman asking him "Who's responsible?" He continues on his one-man operation to end the war by telling O'Brien, a chopper pilot, not to fly any more because when he does he always brings back wounded. Another chopper full of wounded does arrive and Hawkeye goes to work. After, he goes looking for Frank and learns he's giving a lecture to the enlisted men on why they're in Korea. Hawkeye sits in and asks Frank what the war is about and who started it. Frank tells him the Communists started it because they are jealous of the American standard of living — namely, bathrooms. Hawkeye photographs the officer's latrine and plans to send it to North Korea asking them to stop the war. Trapper fills a syringe with a sedative, but as he goes to give the shot to Hawkeye, Frank gets in the way. Then Trapper tries to give Hawkeye some gin from the still with some of the sedative but it has no effect. General Clayton arrives and heads for the latrine as Hawkeye puts a chain around it so he can drive it to North Korea. Radar can't stop the General from going to the latrine and Hawkeye tows it away. Soon after, the sedative kicks in and Hawkeye gets his rest.

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

Trapper John Wayne Rogers

Henry Blake McLean Stevenson

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

General Clayton Herb Voland

Producers Gene Reynolds

Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director Jackie Cooper