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EPISODE B-304 IRON GUTS KELLY - by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman General "Iron Guts" Kelly arrives for a visit with the 4077th because he's been impressed by its record. Hawkeye and Trapper are in the O.R when Blake brings the general in to observe their work. Kelly only has eyes for the pretty nurses. Later at the Officer's Club, Frank and Hot Lips are thrilled to be in the presence of the General Kelly and Hot Lips are instantly attracted to each other. He suggests drinks, poses with Hot Lips for pictures, murmurs in her ear, and then dispatches his aide and Frank to inspect the camp. Next, he repairs with Hot Lips to her tent. Hawkeye and Trapper are asleep when Hot Lips whispers they must come with her. General Kelly is dead on a cot in her tent. They diagnose a heart attack. As they make plans to remove him from her tent, Frank arrives and they hide Kelly in the closet. When they deliver the news to his aide, Wortman, he reacts with horror—Iron Guts Kelly cannot die in that fashion. He must die on the battlefield. Hawkeye and Trapper refuse to falsify the death certificate, but they arrive at a plan to drive the General's body to the front. Only there seems to be a lull in the action. Hawkeye and Trapper load Kelly into an ambulance as Frank observes. He asks Hot Lips what's happening, but she covers for Hawkeye and Trapper. Shortly after the ambulance departs, news reaches M*A*S*H of an accident in which the general was killed. Hawkeye and Trapper read in "Stars and Stripes" that the General died heroically at the front. CAST Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda Trapper John Wayne Rogers Henry Blake McLean Stevenson Hot Lips Loretta Swit Frank Burns Larry Linville Radar Gary Burghoff GUEST CAST Iron Guts Kelly James Gregory Wortman Keene Curtis
Producers Gene Reynolds Larry Gelbart Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe Director Don Weis
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