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The bulletin board says Col. Blake is going to give a lecture on sex. He tells the troops not to contribute to over population in Asia. Frank chimes in with a lecture on patriotism, then Trapper gets into a fight with Frank. When the bulletin board reminds about joining the payroll saving plan. Hot Lips asks Frank for a loan because her sister is getting married, and she needs to buy a gift. Frank refuses and Hot Lips is steamed. Trapper writes his daughter trying to tell her what it's like—smelly tent, smelly doctors. One of the patients was brought in frozen to death, but Trapper found a heartbeat, thawed him out and patched him up. The bulletin board announces a Shirley Temple picture. Klinger attends in a fetching dress with a broad brimmed hat and gets into a fight with Sgt. Zale over the hat, which blocks Zale's view. Next, the bulletin board announces the First Annual Polly Adler Birthday Cookout and Barbecue. Klinger sells kisses, while Trapper and a nurse run the Punch and Judy show. Every time Punch and Judy kiss, so do Trapper and the nurse. Hot Lips is still brooding over Frank's refusal of the loan. He tries to abate her coolness by saying she can have the money, but he wants her to sign a note and pay interest. Furious, she chases him and he runs so last that he wins a footrace. Radar is dragged into the mud during the tug of war, but then so is everyone else. Unfortunately, Radar hears choppers coming and before long. everyone is back in O.R

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

Trapper John Wayne Rogers

Henry Blake McLean Stevenson

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

Klinger Jamie Farr

Father Mulcahy William Christopher

Sgt. Zale Johnny Haymer

Producers Gene Reynolds

Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director Alan Alda