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Sgt. Kimble has done his 30 years in the army and is ready to go home with enough material to open a Korean restaurant. There's only one problem, he has too much to take with him on the plane. The only way he can not fly is if three doctors will sign that he has chronic adhesive oitus. Hawkeye and B.J. agree, but the third signature's a problem. Meanwhile, a British patrol arrives for food and rest. They're trying to clear the area of snipers. Lt. Chivers has a personal problem - an ingrown toenail, a major offense because the British require their personnel to take strict care of their feet. Hawkeye operates and is rewarded with two bottles of Scotch. Potter brings Col. Griswald in to visit with one of his soldiers. Griswald confides he needs a lot of penicillin, which Hawkeye provides. The snipers fire at Hawkeye after he's received the Scotch from Chivers, causing him to drop the package. Then they break the bottles. Hawkeye gets Griswald on the phone and convinces him to send a tank to discourage the snipers. The tank arrives and the snipers flee. Frank refuses to sign for Kimble. In trying to show off for Hot Ups, Frank gets into the tank and finds he doesn't know how to stop it. Potter demands an explanation. Hawkeye tells Potter the tank started by itself and it was Frank who got in to stop it. For that whitewash, Frank signs the paper that sends Kimble home.

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

B.J. Hunnicut Mike Farrell

Col. Sherman Potter Harry Morgan

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

Klinger Jamie Farr

Father Mulcahy William Christopher

Col. Griswald Frank Marth

Sgt. Kimble Bruce Kirby

Lt. Chivers Ted Hamilton

Producers Gene Reynolds

Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director William Jurgensen