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Radar writes to his mother as Hawkeye conducts the regulation foot inspection. Col. Potter stars with feet in top condition. Next on Hawkeye's list is Hot Lips and when he arrives at her tent he finds Frank at her dressing table. Regretfully Hot Lips has two bunions, a corn and a bit of fungus. Continuing his letter, Radar tells his mother that when Col. Potter and Hot Lips left for a nearby town to provide medical care, his wife called to see if he is all right. Hawkeye has finished with Father Mulcahy's feet when Hot Lips rushes into camp in a Jeep. Col. Potter has been shot in the backside. He refuses anesthetic so he can watch Hawkeye and B.J. operate with the help of a mirror. As the operation starts, Mrs. Potter calls again and the Colonel takes it in surgery so as not to alarm her. Finally Hawkeye corners Frank in the swamp and learns why he's been avoiding foot inspection. Frank's toenails are painted pink.

Hawkeye Pierce Alan Alda

B.J. Hunnicut Mike Farrell

Col. Sherman Potter Harry Morgan

Hot Lips Loretta Swit

Frank Burns Larry Linville

Radar Gary Burghoff

Klinger Jamie Farr

Father Mulcahy William Christopher

Producers Gene Reynolds

Larry Gelbart

Associate Producer Burt Metcalfe

Director Alan Alda